July 20, 2006

Irrational fear

Posted by Xun  |  No comments

One and a half months passed, Emma hasn't talked in English yet. Not much, not at her preschool, at least. At home, English would be sprinkled in her conversation. Words, or one-or-two-word phrases. Like "ice cold", "stop it", "come here", blah, blah ... These words make us smile and happy.

She still cannot count well yet. She always pretends to count, one, two, three, ..., then I ask, Emma, how many ducks are there? She says, three (there are actually 5).

Somewhere, sometimes, in the back/front/center of my mind, I am a little concerned.

She has not grown much taller or bigger either. A lot of kids at her age is half a head taller. There seems to be growth lapse.

I am a little concerned.

She is always friendly, however, also appears a little fearful / or aloof around other kids. The teacher says, she is an observer, but I would more like to her to be in the center.

This fear/concern/worry has always been there, intangible, suppressible, in and out, never overwhelming, never gone either.

Is she, maybe, a little slow, maybe not as bright as other kids? Will she grow to at least more than 5'2'' (I am somewhere between 5'1'' and 5'2''). Will she be socially clumsy as Leo and I are?

I know I should not compare. I keep reminding myself. Growth comes in all rates and stages. My mom once suspected I was, maybe, a little retarded, because I kept wetting beds until I was in ... (I would be too embarrassed to say). But I am fine, at least intellectually.

By all standards, she is healthy, sunny, and bright. She passed the Chicago Development Screening when she barely could understood English. Yeah, she passed the tests on motor (jumping, turning ...), cognitive skills (reading, counting ...), eye tests ...

Still, every once in a while, my mind wonders, I am a little concerned. Not just about Emma, but also about me. But since I am not malleable, I worry more about her.


Does every parent experience the same fear, irational though?

Thursday, July 20, 2006
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