August 25, 2005

I have not blogged for almost two weeks. Lazy, lazy, lazy...Don't matter since I am the only reader and writer of my blog. Not motivated. I wonder which is harder. Produce blogs / journals on demand and under supervision, or babbling in writing totally on my own? The first option is structured and supervised, like that when I was in school, but basically I have no freedom of speech because of the "censorship" and possibly harsh critiques; for the second option I do not feel like confessing any dark secrets either (since I do not have any truly dark ones, none but the mundane and the travails, fits of aspirations and depression, or whatever), but without the structure and good motivation, I am just lazy, lazy... Writing has yet to become a habit.

Lazy to blog

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I have not blogged for almost two weeks. Lazy, lazy, lazy...Don't matter since I am the only reader and writer of my blog. Not motivated. I wonder which is harder. Produce blogs / journals on demand and under supervision, or babbling in writing totally on my own? The first option is structured and supervised, like that when I was in school, but basically I have no freedom of speech because of the "censorship" and possibly harsh critiques; for the second option I do not feel like confessing any dark secrets either (since I do not have any truly dark ones, none but the mundane and the travails, fits of aspirations and depression, or whatever), but without the structure and good motivation, I am just lazy, lazy... Writing has yet to become a habit.

Thursday, August 25, 2005
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I finished Emma's Album for her second birthday. Too bad I lost the album for her first birthday. I could not recover all the little cute verses I wrote. I hope she would like it, especially when she grows up, when she looks back at her childhood, so she would realize how much I love her. But doing this album is as much for myself as for her. I actually just seized this opportunity to have this fun to build it, search online, cut and paste, throw in colors, flowers, patterns, this and that...

Emma's 2nd Birthday Album.

Leo is putting together a movie for her also. Lucky to be in this age of make-everything-yourself, movies, blogs, music, whatever.

Emma's Album

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I finished Emma's Album for her second birthday. Too bad I lost the album for her first birthday. I could not recover all the little cute verses I wrote. I hope she would like it, especially when she grows up, when she looks back at her childhood, so she would realize how much I love her. But doing this album is as much for myself as for her. I actually just seized this opportunity to have this fun to build it, search online, cut and paste, throw in colors, flowers, patterns, this and that...

Emma's 2nd Birthday Album.

Leo is putting together a movie for her also. Lucky to be in this age of make-everything-yourself, movies, blogs, music, whatever.

Thursday, August 25, 2005
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August 18, 2005

Birthday Album for Emma.

Secret album for Emma. Page 10.

Birthday Album

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Birthday Album for Emma.

Secret album for Emma. Page 10.

Thursday, August 18, 2005
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August 11, 2005


The sky was gray, the air cool. It drizzled when I got out of the station. But the office was cold as usual. There is no connection or reverse relationshop between the weather and indoor temparature. In the office, we brave the cold. Going out, we brave the hot.

My family sent me some more of pictures of Emma. Happy pictures. She is beaming with joy in the pictures. She plays, swings, sits in a swiming ring in the water. She probably has overcome her fear of water. I remember how she resisted going down to the lake of Michigan. No more fear! How great! She is always such an angel of happiness. She always has this perfect smile, white pearl teeth, smiling squinted eyes, short hair ...

In two months Emma will be two. Silently I have been planing for her birthday party in my mind. Sadly there will be no birthday cakes, no bulloons, no gifts wrapped in shinny gift papers, not from me. What should I give her? Does she still remember me? Yes, she does, she calls me sweetly "mommy, mommy" on the phone ... what should I give her for her birthday?
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The sky was gray, the air cool. It drizzled when I got out of the station. But the office was cold as usual. There is no connection or reverse relationshop between the weather and indoor temparature. In the office, we brave the cold. Going out, we brave the hot.

My family sent me some more of pictures of Emma. Happy pictures. She is beaming with joy in the pictures. She plays, swings, sits in a swiming ring in the water. She probably has overcome her fear of water. I remember how she resisted going down to the lake of Michigan. No more fear! How great! She is always such an angel of happiness. She always has this perfect smile, white pearl teeth, smiling squinted eyes, short hair ...

In two months Emma will be two. Silently I have been planing for her birthday party in my mind. Sadly there will be no birthday cakes, no bulloons, no gifts wrapped in shinny gift papers, not from me. What should I give her? Does she still remember me? Yes, she does, she calls me sweetly "mommy, mommy" on the phone ... what should I give her for her birthday?

Thursday, August 11, 2005
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August 04, 2005

Another week is gone. What is not gone is the sun and the relentless heat and dry air.

Nothing much has happened, as I would forever conclude. Even in the news. I am a news junky, popping into CNN news, Google News, Sina.com news at least 8 times a day. But I seldom feel much, be there debates between evolutionism and ID (I cannot make up my mind anyway, I definitely do not believe ID, yet what to make sense of the prevalence of God in which I want to believe. Dumb me), be there love declared by celebrities (Pitt and Jane, Angelina and Pitt ..., despite that I always devour these gossip without fail. Boring me.) To me, news is almost like TV or a bad movie, all you need to do is just sit and read/watch like an Idiot. It never causes a stir, unlike a good movie, which is a ride of changing consciousness. It is just a way of killing time (Yet how I pained over the time lost, pained over the fact that I am getting old).

Anyway, anyway.

Anyway, last week I joined Bally Fitness club, since then I have been exercising regularly and hard, hopefully by the time I go back to see Emma, I would lose some weight and be fit. At night, when I am not surfing aimlessly, I study stocks, mutual funds, I wish one day to get a degree of finance, to really have a command of money matters... I go to a church service on Sundays, I wish I could really be touched and accept ...

Another week

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Another week is gone. What is not gone is the sun and the relentless heat and dry air.

Nothing much has happened, as I would forever conclude. Even in the news. I am a news junky, popping into CNN news, Google News, Sina.com news at least 8 times a day. But I seldom feel much, be there debates between evolutionism and ID (I cannot make up my mind anyway, I definitely do not believe ID, yet what to make sense of the prevalence of God in which I want to believe. Dumb me), be there love declared by celebrities (Pitt and Jane, Angelina and Pitt ..., despite that I always devour these gossip without fail. Boring me.) To me, news is almost like TV or a bad movie, all you need to do is just sit and read/watch like an Idiot. It never causes a stir, unlike a good movie, which is a ride of changing consciousness. It is just a way of killing time (Yet how I pained over the time lost, pained over the fact that I am getting old).

Anyway, anyway.

Anyway, last week I joined Bally Fitness club, since then I have been exercising regularly and hard, hopefully by the time I go back to see Emma, I would lose some weight and be fit. At night, when I am not surfing aimlessly, I study stocks, mutual funds, I wish one day to get a degree of finance, to really have a command of money matters... I go to a church service on Sundays, I wish I could really be touched and accept ...

Thursday, August 04, 2005
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