April 04, 2004

Posted by Xun  |  No comments

Finally I put emma to sleep, finally I am able to sit down and do something. But my head is getting heavy, my eyes started drooping, sleepiness creeps in. This is the life of a mom of a five-month-old. Happy most of the time, frustrated some of the time, worried sometimes ... I do not know how people can have a dozen of kids and still accomplish so much. Like Steven Spielberg. I am just an ordinary, less-than-ordinary, mom struggling to make ends meet, yet still blissfully unburdened by all the burdens.

What if I have not squandered all the time that I squandered by doing nothing and not knowing what to do? What if I have had a life that had passed me by? I'd better not start this useless "what ifs".

Actually we had a great and happy day. Emma had half a piece of bread. The first piece of bread in her life. She continued to impress us with her loud babbering. She really tried hard. In Mary Beth words, she concentrated hard, her chin withdrawn ... Or something like that.

Then she played with her toys, banged her "control board", demanded every once in a while for us to pick up or to feed her or who knows what ... We kept finding excuses for her, like "oh, she is tired" or "She is hungry" ... And we kept praising her by saying, "oh, she is so cute ..." or "look, she can do this ...", "wow, she will be a great talker" ...

American babies are in heaven!!!

In the afternoon, we went out to pick up the set of pictures she took at sears. On the way, she slept soundly. I watched her, I watched the sunlight dancing across her face, thinking how much I love her. Yeah, I am doing all these silly and costly things (considering my thrift, cheap life, counting time, money, sentiment ...).

Sunday, April 04, 2004
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